14 Apr Your Values and Beliefs
Whether you are aware of it or not many if not most of your behaviours, actions, words and decisions are influenced or led by your implicit or explicit set of values and beliefs.
Being aware of what your specific values and beliefs are can help you to recognise and manage the impact of them in your coaching and mentoring relationships.
If you search the internet for a list of values you will then be able to formally identify yours, explore the potential value and impact of them as well as being aware of how you might deal with any situation when there is either conflict or similarity between those demonstrated by the learner and your own.
Where conflict exists between values this can provoke both verbal and non-verbal reactions which the learner may pick up on. There might be internal dialogue caused in you which blinds you too the rest of the conversation or behaviours. If you hold a value as being very important to you how will you feel when someone expresses or exhibits the complete opposite to this value? How might it affect you? What impact will it have on your perception of that person moving forward? Will it colour the dynamic of the relationship or discussions. If one value is impacted on will others be affected too?
Where there is too much similarity between your set of values and those of the learner, this can also present difficulties. Overlap of values may make you blinkered to unhelpful behavioural traits of language because to you that is the norm and doesn’t represent an issue. You may not know how to approach a discussion about such values, or you may feel that you are unable to explore or challenge them because it may require some self-examination too.
Getting the learner as part of the contracting and first coaching session to identify their own values and beliefs, will create an awareness in both of you and you can then explore what might happen if either of you sense and awkwardness or conflict. Part of this process will also be about understanding what you mean by each of your values or beliefs, as you might interpret them differently which in itself can present issues.
Typically a coach or mentor will look to:
- Identify values and beliefs
- Clarify own understanding or meaning of the value or belief
- Understand the learner’s values and beliefs
- Explore if you are polar opposites of two particular values
- Identify when it might become an issue and how you will deal with it at the time
In taking time to explore these with the learner, in doing so their own self-awareness will be increased which will have a benefit on the wider coaching sessions and outputs.